Lately, everything has been going wrong. I'm so stressed over things, and I know what to do, but I don't want to do it. It's like I want to get better, but I believe the right thing to do is to dwell for a while, get away, and learn from my mistakes, and make new ones. I feel like I should venture off and experience different things, and let everyone around me have some space from me, and me from them.
Now, I honestly don't want any sympathy. That is nothing I long for. What I wish, is for people to understand that I don't need help. I'm a strong person, I just like to be sad at times, you know?
If I had anywhere to go, I'd venture off to some place I've never been before. Get some money I have, board on a train, and jump off it when I feel like it's the right time to do so. I want to do this, because I feel like it's right. Like I'm meant to do this, to learn new things. Also, knowing me, even if it weren't the right thing to do, I'd probably do it anyway.
I'd walk around until I found a place to stay, and keep to myself from there. The last thing I need is to have people talking to me. Venturing off on my own means staying on my own for a while. Being strong and independent would help me out a lot as a person. I'd visit some places that I want to visit, and possibly meet other people down the road. Things happen for a reason, so I'm not going to go around hiding from things.
I may go to Toronto, New York, London, anywhere. I just know that wherever I go, I can learn this lesson no matter the surroundings around me. I just need a new scene, new faces, new personalities...new everything to have the strength to go back home.
Merideth
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